Things I Learned in the South

This one comes via an email courtesy of the Boss Man's wife. True Southerners will most likely nod their heads in agreement to each statement.

• A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
• If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite ya.
• "Onced" and "twiced" are words.
• It's not a shopping cart. It's a buggy.
• People actually grow and eat okra.
• "Fixinto" is one word that means preparing to do something.
• There is no such thing as lunch. There is dinner, and then there's supper.
• Sweet tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.
• "Backwards n forwards" means knowing everything about someone.
• You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or until it's too dark to see.
• You don't push buttons, you mash them.
• Distance is measured in minutes.
• You switch from heat to A/C in the same day...quite often in fact.
• All festivals are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain or animal.
• You know what a dawg is.
• You carry jumper cables in your car - for your own car.
• You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony's, Tabasco and ketchup.
• The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require six pages for high school sports, NASCAR and gossip (known locally as the Riverfront and Chatterbox sections).
• You think the first day of deer season is a national holiday. Wait, it isn't?
• You find 100 degrees a bit warm.
• The four seasons are almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.
• You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good stew weather.
• Fried catfish is the other white meat.

I hope you've enjoyed these Southernisms. I'm off now to pack for a trip to Gatlinburg for Thanksgiving...the redneck riviera of the Smokey Mountains! I hope you enjoy your turkey and sweet potato casserole this week. Kiss your babies and count your blessings!