My idea of a vacation differs from my father's. He likes to drag an armful of beach chairs, towels, umbrellas and lord-knows-what-else down to the beach every morning and set up his little "beach fort."
I consider myself to be much more sensible when it comes to my seat in the sand. I'd rather pay the little umbrella boy 80 bucks for the week and have my lounger and shade ready and waiting for me when I finally roll out of bed and onto the beach. Typically the umbrella boy is just that: a high school kid with a great tan and board shorts making money to take his little girlfriend out on dates during the summer. Note to self: when vacationing after school starts, be aware that "umbrella boys" are back in a classroom.
Our first day on the beach went something like this...
Birdie and I find ourselves a nice set of blue-cushioned chairs that hadn't been claimed and proceeded to lay out beach towels and reapply the SPF. Visa (Diane, we'll explain this name at a later date) and Poppa Earl take off down the beach for their daily trek. Grumps builds his "beach fort." My mom supervises (she's good at this).
A short time later, we hear from behind us, "Hey sweetheart. Need an umbrella?" Why yes, yes we do! How thoughtful of you! I turn around to see standing behind us a man much too old to be umbrella boy. This is the best way I know to describe the man that would be adjusting our shade preferences all week at Orange Beach's Summer House.
I'm assuming most of my friends have seen the movie Point Break with Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze...I'm not saying it's a good movie, just that you've probably seen it. Picture Swayze in this movie. Okay now add about 40 pounds to the midsection. Adorn him with a few (what appeared to be) jailhouse tattoos and remove his teeth. Yes, I said it. Remove his teeth. He began every sentence with either 'sweetheart' or 'darling' and never directly addressed any of the men in our group at any point during the course of the week. And he carried a power drill, which he used to pre-drill the holes for the umbrellas. (I personally find it much more amusing to watch them struggle with them the old fashioned way.) During our stay we learned much about "Snag Swayze," as he we affectionately referred to him. Not only was he solely responsible for an entire mile of beach chairs, he was also the father of five, and he wasn't about to give up his steady paying career for one of those rip-off $28 an hour BP jobs! On our last full day there, we were very disappointed to see that Thursday was obviously Snag's day off and he'd been replaced by what may have been his oldest son. I'm sure he would've been there if he could to tell us (or the women at least), "See you next summer, sweetheart!"
It takes all kinds, right?
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