Quick! Hide the Ruby Slippers!

When the tornado sirens went off at approximately 3am this morning, I honestly thought I'd made a poor decision in dressing Brantley as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz for Halloween. I half expected us to wake up this morning surrounded by a lion, tin man and scarecrow, being chased by a green witch.

Apparently many of my friends weren't privy to said siren and slept through the whole ordeal, which lasted all of about 3 minutes before the weatherman said the warning for Morgan County had been cancelled. I'm not pointing fingers, but the person responsible for sounding the alarm may have been just a little trigger-happy. And although the bulldog and I got out of bed to see what Jeff Castle had to say about the situation, my little Dorothy slept straight through the whole ordeal.

There's nothing like a good 'ole tornado warning to make you feel like a true Southerner! I remember being pulled out of bed on numerous occasions as a child to go and sit in a neighbor's storm shelter while we waited for a tornado that never came. I use that "shelter" term loosely, seeing as how it was basically a giant ant mound in their yard. You know the kind I'm talking about - they aren't actually even underground except for maybe a foot of dirt. Ah, a false sense of security will go so far in the South! As far as last night is concerned, I'm thankful there was no real threat and that everyone was safe. However, let's not sound those sirens unless I really need to drag my booty out of bed and take shelter in a closet. Otherwise, ignorance is truly bliss and I'd much prefer to just sleep through it all.

Virginia is for Lovers...Utah is for Lunatics

I often recall many words of wisdom given to our senior class by Mr. Hinkle as we sat in our economics class. Most of that wisdom had nothing to do with economics. He once said he'd like to designate a geographical location where we could round up all the "crazy folks" and send them there to live so that nobody else would have to deal with them. Well, I think his dream has come true and it's called Utah.

I would like to shamefully admit that I was sucked in by TLC's "Sister Wives" over the past few weeks. I don't know how, but it just happened. In case you missed this series on the Browns, a polygamist family from (you guessed it) Utah, I'll give you the rundown on the cast of characters.

Kody (The Patriarch): not raised in a polygamist family, chose the lifestyle as a teen, ego the size of Alaska, trying entirely too hard to hold onto his youth with his choice of hairstyle and facial hair...what do you call a goatee that doesn't have a mustache?

Meri (Wife #1): married to Kody 20 years, raised in a 5-wife family, married Kody when he was still a shiny-faced kid, wears the pants in the family, is responsible for "recruiting" other wives, obviously insane.

Janelle (Wife #2): married to Kody 17 years, mother of 5 of the Brown's brood, drank the Kool-Aid, sacrificed friends and family to join the polygamist lifestyle, obviously content to work all day and let Wife #3 do the cooking and child-rearing.

Christine (Wife #3): married to Kody 16 years, mother of 6, always wanted to be the 3rd wife in a family, the only stay-at-home wife, must be a hippie burn-out because she gives her kids names like Aspyn and Truly.

Robyn (and here's where it got interesting): being courted by Kody, becomes wife #4 in final episode, mother of 3 from previous marriage, the boat rocker.

The whole series focuses on this family and the changes they go through adding a fourth wife and her kids to the already enormous family. Kody divides his time evenly among the wives, staying with a different one every night (I mean, he must really think he's a stud), all the while driving four hours to a different city to take Robyn out on dates. This man must have a time machine! There's no way I could keep up with a schedule like that!

Along the way, we learn that Meri (#1) actually met Robyn at a gathering and suggested to her husband that he explore a relationship with her. What kind of wife purposefully hooks her husband up with younger, more attractive women? Anyway, the final episode was last night and it ended with the wedding of Kody to Harem Member #4 and chronicled the jealousy of the other wives along the way. Here's my point in the whole thing: if you as a woman are going to willingly enter a polygamist relationship, don't get angry at the man when he starts shacking up with another woman. You brought this on yourself, girlfriend.

So Mr. Hinkle, you were too late. By the time you made the suggestion to gather up the crazies in 2000, Utah had already been a state for 104 years. And I probably shouldn't make such broad generalizations about the citizens of Utah, but since the Browns are my only reference point, I'm going to jump out on a limb and say that Utah is officially for the insane!

Don't Get Me So Worked Up Before Daylight!

I woke up at 4:41 am in a complete panic. The side of the bed occupied by my husband when I fell asleep was empty.

Maybe Sophie and I crowded him and he went to the guest room. Nope. Maybe Birdie woke up and he's in her room rocking her. Nope. Maybe he couldn't sleep (he's a 3rd shifter and can't sleep in the dark anymore) and went for a run. Nope. Running shoes in the floor. By this time I was really starting to freak out. Had he decided to up and leave me in the middle of the night? His car was in the garage. I went to his closet to check out the situation. Duty belt, gun and police gear. All where he left it. Whew. There's no way he'd leave me without taking his gun.

I chuckled at myself for a minute thinking that my husband would be fine without his clothes and all other personal possessions, but there's no way on earth he'd leave without his firearms.

So at 4:45, I dialed his cell. "Why are you awake so early?" was his answer. "Where ARE you?" I demanded. "Goose hunting with your brother. I told you that last night. Weren't you listening?"

And there it was. A dose of my own medicine. It didn't go down easily.

I feel like I'm constantly reminding him of things we have to do, places we have to go, things he should remember. And now the roles were reversed. Now I was the one who either didn't listen or just plain forgot. Maybe I will be a little more forgiving the next time JB forgets something important. Nah, where's the fun in that?

Another Egg in Our Nest

Several weeks ago, I posted on FB how I thought it was only fitting how God looks at all the plans you've made in life, then laughs and makes His own. That post was written on August 10th - a Tuesday - the day a little digital stick said, "SURPRISE! YOU'RE PREGNANT! AGAIN!" Well, in not so many words...

That day was a struggle for me, to say the least. Rewind to August 9 - a Sunday - the day my husband came home from drill weekend only to say, "It's a good thing you aren't pregnant because they're moving us up." As in, next deployment. What was tentatively scheduled for 2012 is now set to happen in 2011, as is the birth of our second child.

As I stood there staring at that pregnancy test, those words were all I could hear. I couldn't think about the joy another baby meant for our family - I could only focus on the fact that Jason would be leaving (again) soon after. But after spending a few days in complete shock (although I do know where babies come from and what causes this type of situation, and don't worry I won't let it happen again) I was able to come to terms with it all. Sister Meg was right. Sometimes God gives us what we need rather than what we want...or at least what we think we want. So at 3 months preg, I was finally comfortable sharing our news with the general public. I want to thank all my girlfriends who offered such encouraging words as I emerged from meltdown status! You know who you are and I'm so thankful for each of you!

This baby has been a surprise from day one! Jason and I can't wait to see what this little one brings to our lives. And Birdie is super excited to be a big sister - she just doesn't know it yet!

There I Go Thinking Again...

This is the time of the year when I'm up to my eyeballs in Riverfest planning. On the agenda for today: mail out nearly 100 judges' schedules for the weekend. And of course, I was out of plain white envelopes. I thought it might do me some good to walk to Lucky's to purchase said envelopes. A little fresh air never hurt anyone, right? And besides, it would literally take me longer to drive there than walk so why waste the gas? Turns out that the air is very thick and heavy today in Decatur, which means the only fresh air I could smell was from the Meow Mix plant. Imagine that. Happy Thursday!

Well, Can I Bring Y'all Supper?

It seems that in the South, regardless of the situation, the right thing to do is take somebody supper. And for any Yanks, supper is the latest meal of the day. It doesn't matter if someone's had surgery, gave birth or lost an uncle. Southerners will bring you enough supper to feed a small army.

I have found myself on many a supper-bringing-list. That's what happens when you are of child-bearing age in this area. When I brought my precious Birdie home from the hospital, my momma came over to clean my house and I had a list of folks who'd be bringing us food every other night for the next four weeks! It was glorious. I had no opportunity to lose the baby weight quickly with meals like spaghetti bake, every kind of chicken casserole you can imagine, Big Bob Gibson's BBQ, and the most adorable individual keylime desserts in orange and blue glasses (Go Gators) from Courtney and Sara.

So now, I'm paying back all those sweet people who brought me food since many of them are having babies themselves! But I'm glad to do it because it's just the way Southerners take care of each other. And if you ever see my name on your supper list, don't be angry if I show up with a chicken and wild rice casserole from The Casual Gourmet - trust me, it's better than anything that could ever come out of my kitchen!

Keep Your Peace

You heard it in Bambi, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." Well in most cases, that advice would work. But one thing I've learned is that Southern women are very opinionated. Good, bad or ugly, that's just the way it is.

I'm learning that one must choose her battles carefully. It doesn't do anyone a bit of good if you just go flying off the handle at every little thing that irks you. Let's be honest with ourselves: opinions are like belly buttons (bet you thought I was going to say something else). Everybody has one and none of them are the same. But let's just all take a moment to "unbunch" our big girl panties and realize that not every difference in opinion is worth the fight. Sometimes the best response really is no response at all. I don't really mean "turn the other cheek." It's more like "walk away before somebody has the chance to slap you in the first place." The last thing we need in this life is another enemy. Besides, if you have friends like mine you don't need enemies!